Wednesday, July 6, 2016


When Love becomes the Sixth Sense that captures 
communication and delivers it to the heart. 

Dear Matty:

Thank you for your sign this morning. You heard me last night. When that moment of darkness descended upon me. When I was held in a vice grip of yearning, of missing you. When I reached out not only with my heart, but with my voice as well. When I asked you, begged you . . . please, please a sign! Send me a sign. When I felt the weight of sadness and the helplessness of a child. When I knew grief was watching my joy sit silently by my ache. When I had misplaced my peace of heart and mind. When I needed the love of an extended hand to show me the way.

And this morning . . . and yes, this is the part where we both chuckle . . . because your Mother has become a Mall Walker. The temperature is always cool. The army of seniors taking an active role in their health, holding on to their strength, continuing and creating new relationships—is nothing short of inspiring. I am actively watching, participating in a season of life that I will walk into one day. The songs piped into the sound system bring me back to my Mom and Dad’s era. Michael BublĂ©’s crooning keeps me in the present. I was rounding the corner, nearing the end of my first turn—and then I heard it . . . Diane. I had never heard this song before. You caught my attention. I listened in awe as I knew you were speaking to me. I felt it in my heart.

“I’m in heaven when I see you smile
Smile for me, my Diane
And though everything’s dark all the while
I can see you, Diane

You have lighted the road leading home
Oh, pray for me when you can
But no matter wherever I roam
Smile for me, my Diane"

I discovered the song was written in 1927 and made famous by the Irish Band, The Bachelors in the 60’s. You spoke to my heart son. You were comforting me, consoling me with words that are not your own but borrowed for a moment, delivered with feeling that can be called your own. Your signs fill me with what can only be defined as spirit hugs. It is so hard living without you in this physical world. You are holding my hand as we travel between two worlds. I thank you and am grateful for every instance that you make your essence known.  For every re-charge of the heart energy that you send. For the serious, for the funny for the ‘just what I need from Matty’ at this time, in this moment.  I am smiling through the tears. I am learning to adjust to our new relationship. I am learning that my eyes don’t have to see but my heart desperately needs to feel.  We speak through the heart now, you and I. We speak a universal language. We give and we receive Love freely, through a channel that can only exist in an open heart. I feel, I believe. Love never dies.

You warmed Momma’s heart today. My beautiful, beautiful boy.

Forever and always,