There was. There is. There forevermore will be.

 Dearest Matty,

Love is the calling I am hearing. A memory—your birth, a forever imprint on my heart.

What power love has! Four words, a mantra to help quiet the chaotic babbling in my mind. A seed of Hope planted by the Knowing that I am holding an impenetrable force. Not death, not darkness, not sorrow, not fear could extinguish the warmth of my love for you, for your brother.

I heard the whisperings of my heart. They came in a pattern held in an indecipherable rhythm, a sound that eventually revealed a melody. Matty, you were humming the version of our song that would guide me on a long, winding road through questions and answers, imaginations and experiences, daydreams and nightdreams, forgettings and remembrances, teachings and learnings. Lyrics came to life from that melody. The story of a new life—a transformation, a rebirth sung in the key of the most ancient Love, Divine Love. Your song, in the beginning Matthew, was heard as a lullaby from a son to his mother; a balm for a broken heart. Your guidance and wisdom through the years were gifts, enough to create a ballad. The most beautiful, soul-full though my sweetheart, is the Ode to Divine Love, an understanding and experience of a Love Outside of Time that you are walking me into. The eternal my dear, where I am joined, reunited with Who I AM, answering the questions often asked in grief “who am I, who am I meant to Be?

There was. . .

There was a shake-up.

There was noticing.

There was stretching—soul stretching.

There was Love outside of time.

There was togetherness.

There was stillness.

There was Peace.

There was Love outside of time.

There was feeling.

There was new sight.

There was the sacred.

There was Love outside of time.

There was a Blessing.

There was a place in time.

There was a knowing of more to come.

There was Love outside of time.

There was a need to speak of it all.

There was more than.

There was then One Way.

There was time outside of time.

There is . . .

There is heartbreak

There is sadness

There is longing

There is love

There is Hope

There is searching

There is discovery

There is Love

There is wisdom

There is calm

There is Trust

There is Love

There is softening

There is joy

There is optimism

There is Love

There is healing

There is setback

There is re-connection

There is Love

There is re-engagement

There is Life

There is a new relationship

There is Love

There is stillness

There is Truth

There is Presence

There is Love

There forevermore . . .

There forevermore will be feeling

There forevermore will be wonder

There forevermore will be awe

There forevermore will be Love

There forevermore will be mystery

There forevermore will be a need to speak of it all

Here is . . .

Here is The New.

Here is Love

Here is Home

Soul tells me so

Happy Birth-Day Matty. Never a reason yet always a meaning revealed.

Love you forever’more,

Mom,

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