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Paving MY way
through grief
The deep sadness in grief may resemble hopelessness, yet in
reality, sadness walks the stepping stones of Hope to the threshold of Trust’s
door. It enters after a long journey as melancholy—a tinnitus of the heart—seeking
transformation and surrender to the soul.
A birthday message from Matty; words
delivering a heart full of contemplation for sure. In my season of the soul, as
I am guided to see the grieving process through a different lens, I make a discovery.
It is a beautiful happening when Hope, invited along on this journey, becomes
such an integral part of the process that slowly, silently one day it slips
into integration—a part of.
The feeling in my heart as of late has
been a physical sensation, a slight heaviness. Melancholia lives as an undercurrent;
an observer of life, joy and laughter that continue to fill my heart. She
allows the flow of that which she sees as opposite to herself and yet, with the
confidence she has gained from her transformation from sorrow and deep sadness,
she is not shy in making it known that acknowledgement is what she needs. She
has a message that I have not been heeding, perhaps even hearing.
Melancholy is sharpening my awareness
to the internal sounds and feels within my body. Within—where the soul lives—a
terrain that with help can traverse what was once seen as rocky and non-fertile
to rich soil waiting to be seeded, planted and given nurturance to bloom and
grow. A second chance for my heart as it contemplates what the walk through the
harsh conditions presented by grief have been like—and survived.
Melancholy ushers in a slower pace in
this winter of grief. There is an entirely unique landscape to be experienced
in winter. The browns and grays allow me to see the strength of nature’s foundation.
Trees standing tall without their foliage offer up a lesson—a natural cycle has
come to fulfillment. They stand as patient sentries surrounded by the loss of
their leafage, confident in their knowing that this is simply a time of rest
needed in preparation for the spring renewal.
My trust in this journey is strong
enough to know that I need not rush through Melancholy. One thing I know for
sure is there is no once-and-for-all fix to the lows that are a part of grief. As I contemplate and become aware of my soul’s
guidance on how to adapt and integrate Melancholy into my ordinary days, I will
not lose sight of the moments that gift me gladdenings of the heart, for these
I am forever grateful.
Wishing a peaceful Thanksgiving to all.
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