SECOND LOVE—AN ALIGNMENT OF THE HEART

“And if the situation should keep us separated

You know the world won't fall apart

And you will free the beautiful bird

That's caught inside your heart ❤”

-Rickie Lee Jones, “The Horses”

Words hold the power to touch the hearts of many. Love is the unseen force that carries words to the heart. When we do not have the words, we have the Love—and words and Love are the springboard for my telling a chapter of our family’s Love story.

This is a story about second loves, Nikki and Jake’s and Jake, Addy and Bear’s. It’s a story of Matty’s blessing of this second love, the continuation of his legacy of love that touches many hearts. The heart is large enough to hold many loves. Grief eventually finds its rightful place next to joy and somehow we are able to re-engage in life. Joy and love are life's allies.

Love, human love comes in many shapes, sizes and depths. It lives in the heart, a holding place that acts like a sponge for love. It has the ability to change its size to accommodate love in all its forms. Divine Love on the other hand, is the brightest, strongest, most everlasting force the heart will experience. It rests in the soul. Love designed by the Architect to ensure an earthly life filled with peace, happiness and love, human love—living in the shadow of God’s Love in every moment of our incarnate lives. God’s Love / Divine Love, available to all for the asking. A Love greater than human love, a Love that transcends, a healing Love in partnership with human love.

Matty is nudging this sharing. Jake is a friend of Matty’s in the Before part of Matty’s life. Nikki and Jake’s relationship exists in the After of Matty and is a wonderful example of the heart's ability to expand with L(l)ove. . . and it has been sparked in all of us. When we don't have the words, we have the Love . . . for each other and this is how we communicate.

The excerpted lyrics from above are from a song co-authored by Rickie Lee Jones. One of Nikki’s very good friends introduced the lyrics to her. So many have carried Nikki in their hearts. This beautiful 30 year old woman at the time of Matty's passing, was left a single Mom of a 4 month old baby and a toddler of 2. Her heart, shattered to pieces, was held together by the glue that is her love for Matty and his for her. They resonated deeply for me, these words. Our family never wanted Nikki to remain alone and we did not know when the timing of a second love would be right for her, yet we knew it was her timing. Very early on after Matty’s passing, our family had a conversation that her heart was not ready to hold yet we knew it would safeguard our words . . . they may not have been the right words yet we had the Love.

Nikki would always be a daughter, a sister to us and we wanted to be a part of the village that she now needed to heal. We would not judge if she found love in a month, a year, 10 years from now; we wanted her heart to grow from the love she had for our son and brother. In time, Jake and Nikki’s lives intersected and we are so very grateful she is experiencing second love. We see the truth in Rickie Lee Jones’ lyrics “ . . . and you will free the beautiful bird that’s caught inside your heart”. That bird is love and love released breathes the oxygen of the heart into our universe; growing kindness, empathy and compassion marinated in patience and trust. Nikki and Jake have given us a glimpse of what is in their hearts and we are witnessing spirit blending.

“When we don't have the words, we have the Love”

I’d like for you to meet Jake. It’s a rather unorthodox introduction as it is delivered from a saved text message from January 4^th 2018, the day after Matty’s third anniversary. In this instance, texting afforded me a forever memory of my spirit blending experience with Jake and Matty. The love in our hearts for Matty provided all the minutia that is usually reserved for a personal face to face conversation; voice inflections, seeing L(l)ove rise to the surface, gentleness delivered in an act of compassion—I was touched by the soul of a very good man, guided by the spirit of another.

“When we don't have the words, we have the Love”

J: Good Morning Diane, I'm sorry I didn't reach out yesterday I just wasn't sure what to say. You were in my thoughts all day. I thought a lot about Matthew. He sent what I believe to be was a sign. I hope my relationship with Nikki, Addy and Bear is a pure reflection of the love and respect I have for Matt as well as for you, Jason and Bruce.

D: It was an emotional day and January 3rd still feels like it freshly happened. I relived it all. It was dark and heavy yet today is the day after and I'm not carrying that crazy pain . . . back on my path to healing. Your words are beautiful and heartfelt Jake. I had asked Matty to send a sign and he did, to you. He never disappoints.

You treat Nikki and the kids so gently with much love, respect and caring. You feel like part of our family Jake and I'm sure Matty is grateful that you're helping his family to carry on. In one of our medium readings, Matty told us he would send someone special and I believe that special is you. I once told Nikki, the beauty of you is that you are Matty's friend. You love him. You are part of our Before and After and as a result there are no explanations needed. Matty's anniversary will probably always be a hard day. We are all learning that the heart is large enough to hold many loves. When we don't have the words we have the Love . . . for Matty, Nikki, Addy & Bear and that is how we communicate. Thank you for reaching out.

When a human love as big as Matty’s, changes through his passing to a special, greater Love, a Divine Love—know that our hearts will remain touched for our finite time on this earth. Matty’s spirit bestows a special gift to our souls. His human love is wrapped in Divine Love, protecting that love that touched us all so deeply, preparing our souls for a deposit of Divine Love. 

Nikki reserved a special place in her Christmas card this year for both Jake and Matty. She wanted words that would honor Matty and blend her lives lived in love. She reached out to me and I had no words, yet I had the Love. In my usual conversation with Matty at bedtime, I asked what he would say. I was awakened at 5:00 the following morning with these words from Matty:

“Sharing our legacy of Love this holiday season—the heart holds infinite capacity. Love honors the past by blending dreams and creating an abundant future. Love is the state of the heart.”

MLA13

Words from Matty, a blessing for opening our hearts and allowing our souls to be transformed by Love. Pain of loss can be transformed by Love. The mind has to first be opened and when it is, the deepest examination of beliefs takes place. When I step away from the synchronicities of this love story, I observe a bigger, better plan at work. Was Matty’s greatest purpose to see Addy and Bear born into this earthly world? Are Matty’s, Nikki and Jake’s souls intertwined to continue to grow love/Love? Is this soul planning? I believe it is, a contract planned and executed by Love. A heavenly plan guiding our earthly lives; one of the beautiful mysteries God holds for us. By embracing Nikki’s second love, we are guided to a deeper understanding of Divine Love; that place of Knowing that Love never dies.

The mind has no difficulty holding onto and releasing fear into this world. The heart finds ease in holding onto and releasing love. When the heart learns to release love, a Higher Consciousness steps in. My soul, my spirit, my God teaches me about the ease of releasing Love. Matty left behind a legacy of love. It continues to grow as he shares how his spirit is touched by Divine Love. That capital “L” thing. This process—this transformation from feeling, and living with human love begins in the heart and when ready, has a conversation with the soul. As it is a process, the mind will want a say and the heart, with patience waits. The soul teaches from a place of no time.

“When we don't have the words, we have the Love”

Matty, in reference to his inspired words, my word contributions in our writings, once said “I’m so close that she doesn’t know where she ends and I begin”*. This is the experience of spirit blending. It’s a process so subtle that the present moment does not always recognize when it is happening. The validation, and the knowing for me is that these words come from soul/spirit and are my gift from spirit—a soul planned mission for Matty and I. This process of how we write, Matty and I,  still holds some doubt and fear of rejection in acceptance for me. Feelings of doubt rise to the surface as I read the words for the first time. These feelings dissipate as I re-read the words, interspersed with time and space, allowing me to see the words as if for the first time—sensing the coming from another's hand. My heart accepts the Love—Love quiets the mind.

I see spirit blending at work in the process of finding and falling into second loves; a spirit blending involving all who care about the left behinds of physical death. Bitterness can never find a home in an open heart. Bitterness is the moat that makes the heart inaccessible for second loves; for the widow and widower and family and friends unable to give second love the gift of acceptance. Its’ a refusal of God’s greatest  gift.  An open heart invites promise, a new way of seeing Love through the ache of the pain of loss. Spirit blends Love with love allowing for the heart’s expansion and the soul’s transformation.

“When we don't have the words, we have the Love”

Spirit’s message is universal. This guidance applies to all avenues of our lives. When feelings of upset, pain, fear, overwhelm and any others that put blinders on love; this is the time when hurtful words are often hurled from the lips. Take a deep breath, mouth closed and suppress the words. Focus on the heart—your reservoir of love. Let spirit in, allow Love to come to the help of the heart.

Today, I had no words yet I have the love and the Love. My soul was nudged by Matty and spirit and my heart was telling me there was a message that needed delivering. “Trust the Love and the words will flow.”   My trust grows with every message and my heart is filled with gratitude for my healing and the ability to share Matty's wisdom. Spirit  blending.

Second loves, oftentimes not spoken of out loud, yet the whispers can be heard and come cloaked in judgment and misunderstanding. Second loves are a most beautiful gift for the widow and widower—love, guided, nurtured and blessed by Love. Open your hearts with acceptance and gratitude—embrace the beauty of Love from the ashes of grief.

“When we don't have the words, we have the Love”

Love will guide you to the right words needed at the right moment. I leave you with words from Khalil Gibran. In hope, please let them open your hearts in support of second loves.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.  

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;  

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.  

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.  

Much of your pain is self-chosen. 

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.  

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility:  

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,  

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears. 

Khalil Gibran

*A message from matty delivered in a medium reading by Evidential spirit Medium, Rachel Pearson.

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